As of late, people have repeatedly asked me the following questions: “How do I explain what a pandemic is to my child without causing them unnecessary stress?” “Is there value in educating my child about potential risk factors of contracting the coronavirus?” “I work from home and have no childcare. Is it ok to extend screen time, if so, how much?”
Surely there are many more questions to be raised, but these seem to be the top 3 that recur as I help parents and caretakers navigate this uncharted territory. Something to be mindful of when talking to small children about any subject is that they cannot process abstract information well. For example, when explaining complex concepts like the transmission of diseases.
As a general rule of thumb, we want to try and explain things to our children in more “concrete” terms. For example, in trying to educate a 5-year-old on the current developments related to the pandemic, it would be best to start off by saying something like: “There is a virus going around and it is very contagious. It is important to wash our hands and give our friends some extra space.” It is perfectly O.K. to answer questions your child poses beyond the information you provide.
Children are inquisitive by nature, and it is important to show them that we are available for the exchange of information. Keeping that exchange simple and age-appropriate will help set your child’s mind at ease without causing them unnecessary stress. Shutting down a child’s request for information (e.g., out of fear of upsetting them), can result in unsettling feelings and will not prove useful in the long run.
Children are very attuned to their environment, so when their parent(s) or caretaker(s) are anxious, they will inevitably pick it up. Having a dialogue with your child is always a good idea, as it can help alleviate some of the tension and turn it into an opportunity for connection and care.
What we are currently experiencing collectively will influence the way we parent. My life has gradually been turned upside down since the lockdown began three months ago. My husband’s work requires him to be on call several days a week (including weekends), which has turned me into the primary caretaker of our 5-year-old son. During normal [non-pandemic] life, my son was allotted an hour of screen time each day. That time has gone up to 2 hours (or more).
According to the newest research by Gary Goldfield, Ph.D., a psychologist at the University of Ottawa, teens who indulge in 2 hours (or less) of screen time per day tend to have the best mental health and cognitive outcomes, as long as they are also getting the recommended amount of sleep (8–10 hours per night) and have at least 1 hour of active outdoor time per day.
With respect to smaller children, these numbers vary. Dr. Jerri Lynn Hogg, Ph.D., a media psychologist at Fielding Graduate University, suggests “co-viewing” media with your toddler and talking to your child about their TV viewing. Hogg stresses that “co-viewing doesn’t have to be a full-time job, rather, I recommend parents should aim to scaffold their child’s screen time — first watching a few episodes with them and talking about the content, then stepping back and checking in as the child becomes familiar with how media works.”
Conclusively, I want to offer a reminder that each and every one of us is a superhero right now. In light of recent developments worldwide and the uncertainty we face as a collective (whether politically, racially, or due to climate change), I find it important to note that we are all in this together. If we do our best, show up for ourselves and others, have faith, and extend grace and compassion, we can trust that we are on the right path!
With deepest care,
~ Dr. C.
Reference
Pappas, S. (2020). What do we really know about kids and screens? Monitor on Psychology, 51(3), 42–48. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/04/cover-kids-screens